You Know You Are An Otaku If, And Reality Checks

also see the ones on bronies, SJW/Troll/anti-fandom, anti-furbyism.

"You're talking about weabboos."

No. There's no such thing as weeaboos. Only otaku, and casual fans. A casual fan just happens to like some anime but is not part of the otaku subculture. "Weeaboo" is a 4chan made-up word otaku use to point at other otaku with basically "Look at them if you think I'm bad, they're worse." No, they aren't. Otaku are all annoying, and 4chan really stinks.

I'm a normal otaku!"

No. You are an otaku. That's average for the fandom/subculture, but not normal for everyone else who doesn't obsess over anime.

You Are An Otaku If

1. You junk up general or other non-anime discussion areas with posts like "I came here from (insert anime video)!"

2. You answer such posts with "Me too! XD ^_^ XDDDD ^)^" or "I came here from (insert yet another anime title)!"

3. You respond to any of the above with yet more discussion about the anime(s).

4. Where a thread gets hit with such an initial post, more will follow, because otaku are like rain on a parade, there's never just one drop.

5. You put "ne?" at the end of things you write.

6. You use "desu" and other annoying non-English words in a comment section that is primarily English and non-anime related... And you are not Japanese.

7. You use annoying honorifics I.E. "Eri-chan", "Eri-sama", "Eri-san" instead of just calling Eri by name.

8. When you make a web page, you greet one another and anyone else with "Konichiwa!

9. You call anime an art form and get super freaked out whenever someone else comes along and puts some reality back into things by saying that it's a cartoon.

10. You have a conniption, blow a gasket, pop a valve when somebody compares some Japanese anime to an American-made cartoon, or hamgodforbid, mixes them up!

12. You accuse anyone who dislikes anime or the fandom of being "haters" "bashers" and especially "racists against Japan".

13. You tell anyone who doesn't like the genre to go to Disney.com

14. You get mad at people calling anime a genre.

15. You get defensive when somebody points out they do not like anime or just don't give a crap about it.

16. You get all huffy when people express annoyance at all the otaku (anime fangirl/boying) that has taken over a comment section on something such as a classical music video, which with, there is only the most tenuous connection to any anime. (Hurray, they used part of this music in some scene or other)...

17. You squeal like an excited two-year-old over all that sickly cute kawaii crap and you draw kawai crap.

18. You actually have "Kawaii" in your nickname.

19. You get excited and can't resist the strong urge to comment about someone else's sickly "kawaii" profile avatar.

20. You write in a mix of English with Japanese words thrown in to try impressing your audience.

It doesn't.

21. You call yourself the "no miko" of some anime character because you have a stupid crush on him/her.

22. You carry on about why subtitles are so much better than the American dubs

23. You flame in half-English and supposedly half-Japanese.

24. You make a huge show of correcting the next fan's use or misuse of some Japanese term.

25. You flame someone of your own gender in your favorite series out of jealousy. This usually includes rabid shallow rants on how ugly you think the character looks, and has nothing to do with berating a character for a terrible personality, which, all anime-addicted flamers have naturally.

26. You flame another fangirl with the same shallow "You look so ugly!" crap.

27. You flame one another's anime fan-fictions, willfully blind to the fact that your own leaves just as much to be desired.

28. You engage in stupid debates about why your own interpretation of some anime you hold sacred is the only way to look at it.

29. You engage in fandom wars because you think some anime you don't like and its fan base suck and yours doesn't.

30. You do any/all of the above and actually delude yourself into the silly notion that you are dealing a low blow to whoever you are bullying into shutting up and bowing to you.

31. You base your like or dislike of any character, fan-made or famous, on how the character looks.

32: You get infatuated with some character.

33. You Build web pages (shrines) devoted to your character-crush, including marriage fantasy pages for you and your character-crush, whom you'd do anything to meet and do other things with in real life if that was at all possible.

34. You think you're super cool being into Japan and you just have to show off how interested you are in Japan to other people, and you are ignorant of the fact that sensible people either couldn't give a dart or may even be annoyed at your trivializing a whole culture this way.

35. You think anything Japan is more special, better than if it comes from a different part of the world.

36. The whole reason you fell in love with anything Japan in the first place is because of anime. So you treat Japan anything like a fad.

37. You love Asia because Japan is there. You love Japan because that's where anime comes from.

38. You equate all things Asian with Japan.

39. You equate all things Japanese with anime.

40. You wish you were Japanese because of anime.

41. You've deluded yourself into the ridiculous notion that you really are Japanese even though you don't look it and there is no Japanese in your biological background.

42. You try to talk and act Japanese.

43. You try to alter your looks through plastic surgery to look more Japanese or Asian.

44. You have only friends who are into anime, and you lose real friends who you've driven away because of your obsession.

45. You are either mad at them (more for their disinterest in anime than for backing away from you,) or you just don't care. And why would you? Hey, you've got your insanely vast collection of stupid cartoons - excuse me, anime series, your lousy comics - excuse me, manga, your goofy art, your crappy fanfics, your dumb pics, your silly little plushies etc to keep you company!

46. You actually believe your fandom doesn't suck.

47. You are overpowered by a burning desire to defend yourself and/or the fandom by arguing against anything on this list.

--

Reasons Why Being An Otaku Is Evil

#1 - the word "otaku" not only describes you as a fandom idiot, it has become somewhat taboo because of Miyazaki Tsutomu who went on a toddler murdering spree in the 1980's, video taping the young girls he had murdered from an obsession with lolicon (female pedophiliac manga).

#2 - In 1997, Miyazaki Jun, a native of Hokkaidou, stalked a young woman and caused her to not have any friends. From here he continued to stalk her until she could not take it anymore, committing suicide on 23 December, 1997.

NOTE: Both of these people may actually be unrelated, however it does make you think, doesn't it?!

#3 - Otakuism is an obsessive cult of anime fanatics. It is beyond liking the genre. Otaku are addicted to anime and they defend their favourites against non-otaku as well as rivals within the fandom who like some other anime. They take themselves and their choice in entertainment far too seriously, to the point where they are pro-Japan racist, while hypocritically accusing people who dislike anime or this kooky fandom of racism.

This blog has some great points about the fandom, but the lingo is rough at times.

The Wave Of Otakuism

The Third Wave was a classroom experiment in mob mentality and it revealed some troubling things about it. The same things that are what is so wrong with fandoms and other subcultures today.

There was a novel based on this experiment and a film made in 1981.

Here is the film in two parts, with IMO a bit better sound.

Part 1 and Part 2.

The experiment came about because the teacher, Ron Jones in real life, Ben ross in the fictionalized book/movie, could not sufficiently answer the question posed by one of his students, as to how so many citizens of Germany could claim they never knew about the evils of the nazi regime as they were being carried out all around them.

The experiment taught them why, revealing that with the right kind of stimuli and incentive, not even they were immune to the spell of collectivism.

The Third Wave really happened, but it was only a five-day experiment that the teacher and administration halted once they saw things were getting out of hand.

There seems to be no one able or willing to put a stop to the wave now, and it is no longer an experiment, but a plethora of obsessive fandoms and other subcultures gone amok.

Examples:

Bronyism, My Little Pony Fanaticism

Otakuism, anime fanaticism

Anti-fandom, Trolls and Fandom Wars

Anti-furbyism.

Third Wave Feminism and the ultimate goals of feminism

Meninism, The Moral Decay Of MGTOW

Otakuism is definitely among these.

Reality Checks

1. Face it, anime = cartoons.

2. ANIME IS NOT YOUR LIFE.

3. There is more to life than anime.

4. You have your otaku lounges and scads of other forums where you can talk anime and out-otaku one another to your heart's content. Go ahead and use them. We won't bother you there with any expressions of annoyance at your obsessions.

5. Some of us are annoyed sick of you dumping this crud all over comment areas that are not anime specific, dumbing it all down to that...

6. Who cares where you came from and where you first heard this music? Hint, getting introduced to classical music via some anime does not profundity make.

7. guess what? Some of us are not going to check out your favourite anime just because you got all excited over some classical music or actor/voiceover artist is in it somewhere.

8. Take a hint, if we were interested and actually liked otakuism, we'd be hanging out on your forums.

9. No, this is not about otaku VS. weeaboos. There are no weeaboos. There are only casual fans of anything, and then there are fandoms. Otaku are fangirl/boys that belong to one or more annoying anime fandoms. "Weeaboo" is a nonsense 4chan and otaku made-up word. You don't get to say "but those idiots are weeaboos, I'm just a big anime fan that is an otaku so I'm still cooler." and expect us to buy it.

10. Your opinion is not law.

11. So somebody doesn't like or is disinterested in anime. You'll live...

AND BTW, when dealing with a non-otaku:

12. Do not glomp.

13. Do not sweatdrop.

14. Do not nosebleed!

15. Do not forget to SHOWER.

16. Please remember that deodorant is your friend.

17. Anime does not equal Japanese culture expert.

18. Not all Asians are Japanese.

19. "baka baka kawaii neko-chan desu!!11!1!1!one!"=NO! In other words, unless you really are Japanese, speak English or whatever language you spoke before the Japanese obsession hit, cut out the childish kawaii squealing, and down with the "desu"!!

20. You're not impressing anyone by writing, flaming, attempting to speak in a mix of part English and part mangled Japanese.

21. No one is interested in or impressed by your ridiculous Englipanese/Japanglish word wars and debates or stories written in part English and part Japanese. It's awkward reading and only exposes you as trying to show off.

This post from Gaia writing forums talks about problems with Mary Sues, and includes some that are otaku-specific. Here's a portion of that post. Edited out and replaced a couple of lame simile things.

--

"You try to fit Japanese into an ENGLISH fic

There are some talented writers out there, full of potential and greatness that will come to them later on it life... as soon as they realize that the Japanese language doesn't belong in an English fic. You do not see people adding tomato juice to a glass of orange juice and drinking it. It tastes bad just as the Japanese term "Gomen ni sai" is thrust into the fic. And so it crumbles like a sculpture being smashed to bits.

Most of the time when this happens the translation is put at the top of the page or the bottom, and sometimes, not at all.

Do you people go up to an English-speaking person and start speaking Japanese, or is this stupidity just a natural talent?"

--

22. It does not have to be subtitled if You speak English.

To sum it all up, nobody cares about some flimsy association there might be between some well-known and loved music or other art/artist and an anime, nobody cares you discovered it through some anime, nobody cares that you can write part Japanese and part English, nobody cares or thinks you're way cool for proclaiming how much better you think subs are.

Nobody cares!

24. Every time you yell about some fandom that ticks you off, your claim to sympathy is ridiculous since you are part of a fandom that's just as idiotic or worse than the one you hate.

25. Your rants against the so-called "haters" "anti-anime/otaku" suck, and there is a lot more on the pro-anime and pro-otaku side than there is opposition to your crazy fandom. So you're crying a lot harder than you should have a right to.

26. Cat ears may not be full-dress cosplay (potting about in costume.) But they're still tacky. Who in their right mind goes about in public on any day other than Halloween wearing a pair of cat ears!?

27. Cosplay is for Halloween, not work/school.

28. If you feel you absolutely must do the lame anime convention cosplay thing, please, don't get into costume before you get there, and make sure to change into something normal before leaving. You'll save yourselves and those around you a lot of embarrassment.

29. No, you don't look like Faye/Spike or some anime character you probably wish you were.

30. No you can't be a manga-ka.

31. You are not a ninja

32. Animekitties and other kawaii "art" is nauseating and way over-done.

33. It's okay for characters to be single and happy about it.

34. It is not necessary, mandatory, or even desirable to ship (pair off every character!)

35. You are not a bishie.

36. Treize Khushrenada/Zechs Marquise AKA Miliardo Peacecraft/Duo Maxwell/Trowa Barton etc./Sesshomaru/Sephiroth/Spike/Vash/Sasuke/Sebastian - is not your bishie.

37. Bishie-catching is not cool.

38. Not all bishounen (pretty boys) are gay

39. Do not give yourself the last name of an anime character, or make up a character who is related to or in love with an established canon character. That is Mary Sue, and more common than most fans care to admit.

40. Having a crush on a cartoon character is not cool. It's an embarrassing disgrace to the human race.

41. No, the character in the picture you're crushing on is not actually smiling at YOU.

42. No, you'll never really marry or snog some anime character, who is only a cartoon - FICTION, and doesn't even know let alone care that you exist.

43. Your snogging/wedding fanfic to a character you're hot over is absolute crap. 100% of the time! There are no exceptions!

44. Hating a character of your own gender in the anime because you're jealous of him/her over some character you're crushing on is definitely not cool, in fact, it's idiotic and pathetic beyond belief! if that isn't enough, it automatically makes you a Mary Sue/gary Stu to that character.

45. Never under any circumstances, write a fanfic where some anime character you have the hots for, killing their closest anime character of your gender in the anime for you.

46. All shipping/slashing is unoriginal, no substitute for an actual plot and always sucks.

47. Porn is sick and stupid. Erotica is just a fancy name for porn.

48. Whatever deep meaning you read into some crazy anime where characters do nothing but talk or have sex, or nuke each other at random, no one cares.

42. Your fanfics always suck. and so does that of your otaku friends.

49. Your fan-art sucks.

50. Your fellow otaku friends' fan-art sucks.

51. Nobody cares who made the dang pictures. If they are of established characters (canon) in a show/book/movie, they are in the public domain, you don't own them so stop whining.

52. Your rants suck.

53. Your comments suck.

54. Your posts suck.

55. Your videos suck.

56. All of your web pages suck.

57. Your anti-character page isn't cool unless you have a real reason other than looks, voice acting, rivalry with sed character for being too close to your character-crush in the series, or who the character is with in the anime.

58. No one cares about your stupid little character death-match page....

59. No one gives a crap about the little anime web page award you're trying for or have received.

60. Keep on obsessing over anime, and eventually no one is going to care about you, period.

61. Spare us the rants in defence of this obnoxious stupidity! We've heard it all many times before and we're just sick of it and of you.