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The 5 Simple Rules To Be Happy
It sometimes includes stories such as the donkey in the well who wouldn't give up and kept hoofing his way to the top the more the dirt fell in on him. Also reposted on this Muslim blog.
Another story is this condescending one about a 92-year-old, petite, well-poised man called Mr. Jones, or a 92-year-old, petite, well-poised woman called Mrs. Jones, (how generic) who "chooses" to be happy. What rot. Either you're happy or you're not. It isn't a choice.
Basically Mrs. and Mr. Jones lost their spouses who probably took care of them and now are moved to a nursing home. Although they are old and blind, they absolutely LOVE their tiny new rooms because they wake up at 8 AM every morning and they make a decision to CHOOSE to be happy. They don't think about their own broken-down bodies, but spend the day being thankful for the well-abled bodies of the other people around them.
Yeah, I'll bet.
*Gag*
This is as patronizing as that awful "I Choose" glurge about a guy who's flying so terribly high on fake happiness even though he's dying.
Such chain letters are among the most annoying and insulting, because they are morality tales that are basically telling you what kind of an attitude you should have. Whether you are a donkey trying to get out of a well that's caving in on you and you should learn from that donkey never to give up, or you're old Mr. and Mrs. Jones who've just lost their spouses and are blind and unable to get around and need round the clock care and have to go to a home, you should CHOOSE to be happy, because Mr. and Mrs. Jones are phonily ecstatic about their situations!
So let's do something about those so-called "rules" and we're doing the donkey version.
* * *
Meme2: THE DONKEY ATTITUDE ……….
Ocean Elf: This is the donkey that fell into the well… But you know what, it's not an "attitude" I'll explain this later.
Meme2: One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Ocean Elf: You'd think the braying would stop after a while. Well, I don't know how to get a large animal out of a well either, but surely farmers must've had this happen occasionally and managed to get their animals out. Though whether it goes smoothly with no harm done, I really couldn't tell you.
Meme2: Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.
Ocean Elf: So if that well needed to be covered up, why didn't this idiot do that before the donkey came along and fell in? Duh! I still say this setup is negligent. I mean, wouldn't it be better to have the animals in a pasture and a stable/barn, fenced off from the well?
Meme2: He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him.
Ocean Elf: So he's changed his mind now and asked his neighbours to help him get the donkey out - okay, makes sense, group effort. it's not like that can be done singlehandedly.
Meme2: They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
Ocean Elf: That's not covering up, that's trying to fill it up. Initially I thought they were going to work together to haul the animal out, but then you mentioned shovels, which made me think of this covering up business - if they had boarded up the well with logs or something before the donkey fell in, none of this would've happened either. *SMH*
Memes: At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
Ocean Elf: NOT! I'd think the donkey was only braying out of distress and needing help. It's not a human. It doesn't "realize" "Hey, oh no, they're gonna bury me down there, hee- haw!"
Meme2: Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.
Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* You chain letter story-tellers 'amaze' way too easily, and expect people like me to do likewise. There's nothing amazing about this at all. The donkey can't go on braying forever.
Meme2: A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw.
Ocean Elf: A donkey struggling in a well, nothing astonishing about that.
Meme2: With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
Ocean Elf: *Irritated expression* there you go with this freaking amazement again! Struggling to get out of a well is not amazing. It's your basic effort to get out of and survive a bad situation.
Meme2: He would shake it off and take a step up.
Ocean Elf: Well duh, no crap! of course. This is a donkey, not a carrot, so of course he's going to dodge the dirt, throw it off and climb out of it as it piles up. No living moving thing that needs to breath the open air is just going to stand there and let the dirt pile up to bury them… See, not so amazing after all… Except perhaps the amount of dirt required to finally enable the donkey to step out of the well…
Meme2: As the farmer’s neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Ocean Elf: Yeah, I think this is simple enough for even the average donkey to understand.
Memes: Pretty soon,
Ocean Elf: Huh? Either this was a really teeny tiny well or else this farmer and friends had huge shovels and huge strong muscles and a whole lot of dirt shovelled in a great big hurry. Because I don't see this as a task with any shortcuts. Have you ever tried to fill a well by shovel before? I haven't, but even so, I'm pretty sure it would take AGES and result in horribly stiff arms and upper bodies the next day.
Meme2: everyone was amazed
Ocean Elf: Aaaaaagh! *Facepalm* I can't tell you how tired I am of your "AMAZED" bit! Knock it off! It is not amazing! It - just - isn't...
Meme2: as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Ocean Elf: Blissfully still unaware that he was only rescued by idiots from a problem caused by idiots.
Meme2: MORAL :
Ocean Elf: Some donkeys are smarter than some people.
Meme2: Life is going to shovel dirt on you,
Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* Oh, right, so we are the donkeys, and life is an idiot. Right…
Meme2: all kinds of dirt.
Ocean Elf: Wait, you didn't say every shovel contained a different kind of dirt.
Meme2: The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Ocean Elf: is this where I'm supposed to say "Hee-haw"?
Meme2: Each of our troubles is a steppingstone.
Ocean Elf: *Rolling eyes* I get it already. But you didn't say that each shovelful turned from just dirt into steppingstones when shaken off the donkey's back.
Meme2: We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Ocean Elf: That's because you have no choice really, time moves on, life goes on, and if you stop, you're probably dead.
But while you're back in the vicinity of attitude now, I might as well mention that it's in every living thing's best interest to survive, and I think this donkey's instinct took over and kicked in when he was about to get buried. His situation was far more serious than much of what we face. We face a lot of emotional stuff, but thankfully much of life's 'dirt' doesn't put us in a life or death scenario.
Meme2: Shake it off and take a step up.
Ocean Elf: And how about tossing some back at the idiots who cause trouble in the first place? :p Couldn't resist. I'll bet when that donkey trotted off, he left those idiots in the dust.
Memes: ‘Remember the 5 simple rules to be happy:
Ocean Elf: I'll make my own rules, thanks.
Memes: 1. Free your heart from hatred.
Ocean Elf: Free your heart from the urge to pass on chain letters that even make that assumption.
Meme2: – Forgive.
Ocean Elf: When someone apologizes, and I'm convinced they really mean it and won't screw up the same way again, sure. otherwise, out of sight, out of mind's the best policy.
Memes: 2. Free your mind from worries.
Ocean Elf: Free your mind from the grips of forwards so you won't feel worried when you decide to delete or smash them instead of passing them along.
Meme2: – Most never happen.
Ocean Elf: But some do…
Memes: 3. Live simply.
Ocean Elf: Live simply your own life, and don't let chain letter forwards boss you around.
Meme2: and appreciate what you have.
Ocean Elf: Hel-lo? Who needs chain letters telling them that?
Memes: 4. Give more.
Ocean Elf: Give more to the internet's collective wisdom and smash any and all chain letters you come across.
Memes: 5. Expect less.�
Ocean Elf: Expect less difficulty as you start feeling the liberty and exhilaration as you smash rather than spread every chain letter that comes across your screen.
Over and out.