Really, Maddox…

His name is actually George Ouzounian, but his alterego is Maddox. Here's one of his considerably milder rants on Youtube.

He is old news to some, for example, his fellow internet trolls and people among various fandoms, but I don't frequent those parts of the net. Once in a while I'll stumble on such things when looking for something else. That was the case here. I found the warped world of Maddox when looking for articles against Buzzfeed.

Like all content from George Ouzounian, [Maddox] it sucks.

Turns out, because he's such a foul-mouthed jerk and he has a fandom, his anti-Buzzfeed article is not worthy of being plugged on my site.

"Really" isn't a punchline. says Maddox.

The same Maddox who promotes sexism and abuse, food-cop-ism, cannibalism, and a whole lot of other unholy crap as anyone who reads enough of his suckish site eventually discovers. But it's "satire" so it's all totally cool. Yeah right.

"Cannibalism? Really, Ocean Elf: Where did you get that idea?"

If you've just asked this question, here is the answer. A quote from his response to the hate mail he got from Peta. There is mild swearing which I'll leave in this time, because his idea is more revolting than the swears, which are few compared with the deluge of even coarser language he's put in other articles. He also buys into the food-cop propaganda here that says meat is full of steroids…

—

"What makes you think that animals suffer in slaughter houses anyway? I think it would rule to be raised for slaughter. Get all the free steroids you want, free meals and plenty of good company--hell, you have it made. Then when you're at the prime of your life, you get your head generously chopped off so you don't have to live through the suffering of old age. Not only that, but you can die with the satisfaction of knowing that somebody is going to enjoy eating a burger made out of you." - Maddox

—

Ewww. Really.

Now let's tackle another of his many irrational conniption pieces. This one about people using the words "Really" and "Seriously".

* * *

Maddox: "Really" isn't a punchline.

You know what I never get tired of? People who use "really" as a rhetorical punchline. I love it.

Ocean Elf: Yeah, I'm so convinced. No, really…

Maddox: It gets funnier every time I hear it. No need to elaborate, just say "really" and leave it at that. Don't clarify, just assume everyone knows what you're objecting to. And because you refuse to offer an actual opinion, point of view or argument, you get the benefit of shifting the onus of being clever onto us.

Ocean Elf: Really? Because I'm smarter than you are at breaking feminist chain letters and a lot harder on racists and Peta than you are. There, you just got an argument following my "really". Happy now?

Maddox: Don't bother explaining yourself, let us fill in the blanks, and if we don't understand your point of view, it's our fault for not being as clever as you, instead of your fault for not communicating your thoughts to us.

Ocean Elf: Hmm, that's interesting, you're always griping about having to explain things to other people. Nice little double-standard there, and you really got that passive-aggressive thing down pat.

Maddox: Who needs descriptive words?

Ocean Elf: Apparently not you, since you are so fond of falling back on simple-minded vulgarity much of the time.

Maddox: Don't use statements like a loser, just give us a sneer and let us infer the s— out of your facial expression.

Ocean Elf: Really? Care to explain that since we don't literally spew shart out our faces and can't read facial expressions just by looking at an internet web text post.? This is where your article begins to suck.

Maddox: Incredulity is such a complex emotion.

Ocean Elf: "I can't believe you just said/did that?" what's so complex about that?

Maddox: And when you say "really," it has the added benefit of being hilarious.

Ocean Elf: Yeah, that's the point, doofus. Good for you for figuring that out!

Maddox: Anyone can do it. In fact, get ready to laugh:

Ocean Elf: Get ready to laugh? Really? I've been snickering through this article so far.

Maddox: Really?!

Ocean Elf: Yeah, really.

Maddox: Oh man, it's so funny I want to shiv myself in the face.

Ocean Elf: Really? Oh man, dude, you have some weird hangups.

Maddox: And for those who might think the use of "really?" (and more recently, "seriously?") is passé, here are the air dates of some of the clips used above:

Ocean Elf: Seriously? You actually went looking for instances where people used those words? Really, you must've been super bored that day.

Maddox: Aug 17, 2013 - Back in the Game trailer
Jun 24, 2013 - A T & T Uverse Commercial
May 18, 2013 - Saturday Night Live
May 6, 2013 - David Letterman
Feb 23, 2012 - Bill Maher, Crazy Stupid Politics

Ocean Elf: and I'm supposed to care because?

Maddox: Using "really" as a punchline is the verbal equivalent of a played-out Internet meme.

Ocean Elf: No more than using the words "and" or "the". "really" and "seriously" aren't micro-memes like "I know, right?", "Ur mom", and your very own Chuck Norris stupidity. If you're going to make that claim, I can make the same claim about your favourite words, most of which are vulgar and not acceptable on this site. Yeah, take that, sir… Another reason your article sucks.

Maddox: It's not just a harmless, lazy, joke-template that you didn't invent or improve; it's a linguistic traffic jam.

Ocean Elf: So are "um" "uh" and "like". At least you finally showed a little creativity in this description. It doesn't cancel out the suck, though.

Maddox: It's verbal filler that we have to wade through to get to a place of higher understanding.

Ocean Elf: As opposed to the verbal filler you frequently use to make statements about yourself that make one feel an IQ dip just by reading it.

Maddox: And no, I don't mean every use of the word "really." Believe it or not, it's still occasionally used in the inquisitive form, when you're genuinely asking for confirmation of a fact. If you don't know the difference, don't email me, or anyone else for that matter. Throw away your computer.

Ocean Elf: You should've saved that suggestion for that racist troll, Rian Alden. Another suckage.

Maddox: The problem with the use of this word is that it has no expressive nutrition and it forces me into having something common with you.

Ocean Elf: *Splutters* Oh, heaven forbid you actually have something in common with another human being! As for this "expressive nutrition" could you possibly get any cheesier? That sounded like one of those idiotic chain letters. No really. "A sparse diet of promises" More suckage.

Maddox: You're taking some part of my being—language—then processing it in your bankrupt idea factory, and shoving the greasy package into my ears for consumption.

Ocean Elf: As opposed to You're taking some part of my being—language—then processing it in your bankrupt vulgarity factory, turning ideas and language into sludge and spewing it on the net for anybody to stumble across. In the case of having to make use of a computer screen-reader, it isn't fun getting sworn at. Really. You then have the audacity to criticize any other use of the english language.

Maddox: I don't eat McDonald's in real life, why would you feed the verbal equivalent to my intellect?

Ocean Elf: And you finish off with some boast as if you think you're somehow better than anyone else because you don't eat at McDs. You add to that with the usual idiotic food-cop propaganda, sending the suck factor soaring right off the map. Great going! Really! No really. You suck.

Maddox: 214,473 people didn't understand my fast food analogy.

Ocean Elf: Whether they got it or not, it sucks. Really.

Over and out.