The 9/42-year-old manboy And Dealive 9-y/o girl

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girl: how old r u?

Ocean Elf: hey chick, it doesn't matter, okay? Unless of course this story ends up dealing with some really icky scenario. But put it this way, you just start chatting with somebody, you just don't go asking them how old they are. Only tacky people trying to get an internet date do that.

man: 9

Ocean Elf: Wait, what? if you're only 9, you're not a man, not by a long shot.

girl: oh same!

Ocean Elf: So, two little kids. I hope this isn't going to be some gushy bf/gf crush stuff because 9 is way to young for that. Sure kids can have little crushes at that age, but it's nothing and it passes quickly.

man: lets meet up? don't bring ur mum tho

Ocean Elf: Um, will you make up your mind, boy? Are you a 9 year old or are you a man? if the latter, stay the heck away from her or there will be hell to pay.

girl: okay where?

Ocean Elf: how about the playground with all your classmates, where kids usually get together during recess? Maybe some teachers can get this freaky 9 year old man figured out.

man: vivie commumity park?

Ocean Elf: Huh? Where's vivie, and what is it?

girl: okay!

Ocean Elf: You know something, this is so totally bogus that neither the girl or the 9-year-old man are given names. Who the heck goes on line as "Girl" or "Man" ? Really? Don't you kiddies have some class work to do instead of wasting batteries playing "pass the notes" text style?

man: tommorrow at 9pm?

Ocean Elf: Wrong. You should both be at home in bed. Playground time is over by then…

girl: okay c u there!

Ocean Elf: And just how are you going to sneak out of the house? Bad idea, kid, bad idea.

Chain: Quess what happened...

Ocean Elf: Quess? What's that, a cross between a guess and a question?

I'm not interested in what happened, other than maybe those two brainiacs getting their smartphones taken away for their misuse of class time.

Chain: this girl met up with this 42b year old old man...!!

Ocean Elf: *Scowl* Somebody's gonna get pummelled! And I still would like to know how she managed to sneak out of the house at 9 at night…

Chain: she was raped and stabbed in the back 31 times!

Ocean Elf: *Murderous glower* Don't even! Okay, let me at him! Let me at him!

Chain: and left in the bushes!

Ocean Elf: This 42-year-old man is gonna be left near death in a ditch when I get through with him!

Chain: repost this

Ocean Elf: Nope… Shame on you for trivializing such a heinous crime scenario to perpetuate a freaking chain letter! Consider it smashed!

Chain: otherwise

Ocean Elf: You'll cry because not everybody is spreading your tasteless hoax. And don't you even think of trying to threaten/blackmail me, because you'll get a load of nasty coming right back at you! I don't take nicely to that sort of treatment, so do yourself a favour and clear off.

Chain: at 1:00pm tonite

Ocean Elf: Which will never happen anyway. 1:00 PM is in the afternoon, doofus. And then you didn't even specify a time zone. If it's night where you are and only 1 in the afternoon where I am, your proverbial monster under the bed would have to travel a good way around the world just to get here and that could take days, even on a plane… And that's only me. what of all the other people who don't fall for your stupid hoax on the same day? How are you going to get your monster to all their places on time?

That's right, you can't… and he/she, whichever character you claim will punish us, doesn't even exist enough to have a name.

Chain: ur fone will ring and a text will come up

Ocean Elf: You don't know my number, and I don't text.

Chain: from a girl saying: let's me up!

Ocean Elf: Huh? "Let's me up: makes no sense. How about let's kill the rapist? Yeah, I like that idea much better.

Chain: .... if you don't reply

Ocean Elf: Yeah um, how am I supposed to reply to nothing?

Chain: she will search u down

Ocean Elf: Hey, spam head! You've already put her through more than anybody should ever go through, so trying to make her a slave to your chain letter, expecting her to perform the impossible task of hunting everyone down who doesn't forward this hoax and reply to a nonexistent text is too much! Go back under your rock, dumbbell!

Chain: and kill u

Ocean Elf: no, it doesn't work that way. If you want her killing anyone, send her after the degenerate who raped her.

Chain: she was

Ocean Elf: she was what?

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Heh, thank goodness that's ended. But I came across something on the same day that already made me feel like losing faith in humanity.

We're supposed to be in the current time, in a civilized world and there are still disgusting people who act like this!

Okay, let's take care of the trolls first.

Anybody who'd express any wish to rape someone else isn't fit to live as far as I'm concerned! I don't care how frustrated they are at feminists having silly conniptions, I don't care if they are just running their mouth and later claim they were just kidding - you do NOT - EVER - include rape in there, anywhere! No one deserves to be raped, man or woman, that act is NEVER justifiable or excusable and neither are any sort of jokes or fantasies about it!

As for the feminist issue, well for goodness sake, Jane Austin is not a political figure, she's a famous author. How many authors get minted? It's usually political figures who get their pictures on coins, and I think if the UK wanted to mint a coin with some woman other than the Queen, Margaret Thatcher would fit the bill.

when people are always looking for excuses to make a gender issue out of everything - all I can say is, it must royally suck to be them.

Come on people, we should be past that by now. Ditch all the gender and race card playing already!