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Don't Be Afraid, Teddy Isn't real!
The Teddy chain letter *CANNOT* kill you. I guarantee.
This hoax claims a dead kid will kill you if you don't spread the chain letter. It is a ridiculous lie, and so are all others like it.
The infamous Teddy chain letter is still going around the net, causing unnecessary panic in children, and annoying people who know it is not true.
In March 2013, Teddy caused upset at an elementary school, freaking some kids out! *Scowl* That's exactly why people shouldn't go spreading this hoax just for the heck of it or "for the lulz". This March 21, 2013 article, said the chain had been around for 5 years, but no one knows who originated it.
ridgewood.patch.com has a copy of the Teddy chain included in the article.
June 2013, Teddy still stinking up the net, going by the name of Mr. Poulter. *Rolling eyes*
Yep, whether he's called Teddy, Mr. Poulter, or something else, it's all the same dumb hoax.
For years, this chain has been worrying people enough to post on Yahoo answers and Ask.com asking if it is real.
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June 7, 2011.
January 20, 2013.
February 19, 2013.
March 22, 2013.
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Of course it isn't real/true!
Yet people continue to throw common sense out the window and stupidly replicate this hoax on Facebook and elsewhere.
On Jul 13, 2012, laurenroxursox64 read out a mutation of the Teddy chain on a Youtube video, titling it Craziest Chain Letter Ever!
In the description, she said:
"This is based on a true story. I know who wrote the chain letter but I can't say…."
True that she got a text, sure. But Teddy is not a true story, nor is it based on any true story.
As for her claim to know who started the chain, I inquired about this, and she came clean:
"I don't actually know who wrote it. The description was just a little joke. Sorry."
People need to stop pretending to be so afraid of these chain letters because all that does is encourage the very young and very gullible to be afraid and keep being afraid, and this is already being done to death. Please see the link on anti-chain letters for more on that. I really appreciated the honest answer from her, though. Bordom is no excuse for perpetuating any chain letter.
Teddy has been stinking up the net for years. Still, I would like to know who actually started this particular bit of nonsense.
It's good to expose whoever is actually behind hoaxes. They get away with crap way too much and far too long.
Teddy has become so widespread and annoying that he has generated anti-chains.
Teddy gets lampooned in one of those anti-chain letters, which in turn, gets laughed at on this blog. Nevertheless, I'll smash Teddy right here.
Teddy was reposted on this forum in March 2014. Unfortunately the start post was one of those all too commonly seen all over the net, requesting that people repost chain letters in the thread. *Facepalm*
Some of us are very unimpressed with this cyber-bullying chain letter.
Here's a smash by Ken.
Now here goes.
There are slight rewordings in different mutations of this chain, which is why Teddy looks like he's repeating himself in places. Example: One reads "he didn't want to die" and another reads "He didn't wanna die" So, putting it all together, "He didn't want to wanna die."
You can read the written-out smash below, and watch the video.
* * *
Teddy/Mr. Poulter's chains: Hi, I am
Teddy: Teddy.
Mr Poulter: Mr Poulter.
Ocean Elf: Oh, it's you... *Dark glare* I don't like you no matter what you call yourself, Teddy Poulter.
Ocean Elf: And you will never convince me you're a poulter geist since I don't even believe in such things.
So Teddy Poulter, fail, fail, - EPIC FAIL!
Teddy Poulter: Once you read this chain letter
Ocean Elf: I call it out for the trollish stupidity it is.
Teddy Poulter: you cannot get out.
Ocean Elf: Get out of what? Teddy, you can't put me in or out of anything. How about I put you out of commission? *Wicked grin*
Teddy Poulter: Finish reading this until it is done!
Ocean Elf: Until it is done? Done doing what? Trying to scare me? Um, how to say this? Bwahahahahahaha! By the time I'm done with it, you'll be sorry.
Teddy Poulter: As I said, I am
Teddy: Teddy.
Mr Poulter: Mr Poulter.
Ocean Elf: And you felt compelled to introduce yourselves a second time within the space of four paragraphs?
Teddy Poulter: I am
Teddy: 7
Mr. Poulter: 32
Teddy Poulter: years old.
Ocean Elf: right, you can't decide how old you want to be… I'll guess you are 32 going on 7. Age, or lack of it doesn't excuse deliberately being a trolling jerk.
Teddy Poulter: I have
Teddy: no
Teddy Poulter: eyes and blood all over my face.
Ocean Elf: Well, all-eyes, no-eyed, cherry-Face Teddy Poulter, you better get that red koolaid off your face before I do or there won't even be enough of you left for anyone to forward. It doesn't matter if you describe yourself this way or as you did in another mutation of one of those earless noseless dealives you're still going to get it in the neck.
Mr. Poulter: I can watch u with them.
Ocean Elf: So, how would you like to watch a fist flying into your face, then?
Teddy Poulter: I am
Ocean Elf: You are an idiotic, bullying spam head who gets his kicks lying to and scaring little kids!
Teddy: dead.
Ocean Elf: you are dealive, Teddy, not dead.
Mr. Poulter: watching u.
Ocean Elf: Right, and pigs fly. So, Mr. Poulter, what do I look like?
Huh? what's that silence all about? You don't know?
Well, well, well, another chain letter lie that fails to scare.
You better be glad you can't watch me, Teddy Poulter, because if that time ever came, I would be the very last thing you would ever see!
Get the message through that thick skull of yours? *Menacing glare at Teddy*
Teddy Poulter: If you don't send post this in to at least 12 people pictures 12 threads,
Ocean Elf: You'll still be a snivelling spam head who could neither frighten nor kill me, and I'll remain smarter and with a better personality than you could ever hope to have.
Teddy Poulter: I will come to your house at midnight and I'll hide under your bed.
Ocean Elf: HAH! You couldn't get into this house without being found out. You can't hide under my bed at midnight and tell me about it because then it isn't exactly hiding, now is it? You and your dealive pals have made this idle threat many times and you've never succeeded. Lucky for you anyway, because you try to mess with me and I'd make ghost gum out of you.
Teddy Poulter: When you're asleep, I'll
Teddy: kill you.
Ocean Elf: Teddy, You can't kill me. I'm flesh and blood. You are just some fictional little piece of spam twit thriving off people's naivety or trollishness and stupidity.
Mr. Poulter: cuddle you.
Ocean Elf: Hey Poulter! You try to cuddle me and you'll get your face rearranged! I don't cuddle strangers! Ewww, And certainly not characters from stupid chain letters.
So, that didn't go quite the way you planned, did it?
Muahahahahaha! *Wicked grin*
Teddy Poulter: Don't believe me?
Ocean Elf: Teddy Poulter, and whatevertheheck else you call yourself, you've been wafting your stink around the net for years, cluttering up web sites, and you have frequently crossed my screen, and you have been posted and reposted by silly people who you obviously have not managed to kill. Do I believe you? Uh, that would be NO!
Teddy Poulter: Case 1:
Ocean Elf: Oh brother, again with the bullcrap stories...
Teddy Poulter: Patty Buckles Got this chain e-mail chain-letter.
Ocean Elf: *Grin* Yeah, oh, the irritation!
Teddy Poulter: She didn’t doesn't believe in chain letters. Well, Foolish Patty Buckles.
Ocean Elf: Foolish Teddy Poulter, smart Patty Buckles... Anyway, you're still telling this one after how many years?
Teddy Poulter: She: was sleeping when
Teddy: her TV started flickering on and off.
Poulter: she started hearing noises from her cupboard.
Ocean Elf: But it was only a weird TV show, she'd drifted and forgot to turn it off. The noise from her cupboard was just that silly iphone alarm, she forgot to make sure it was set for noon instead of midnight, and had left her iphone on the cupboard.
Teddy Poulter: Now she's not with us anymore.
Ocean Elf: Let me get this straight. Ditzy dipstick you, are trying to tell me that Patty was killed by a blinking TV and a loud cupboard and your fork-wielding Mickey Mouse popped out of the screen. Or something equally stupid. And what's with this "us" business, Teddy Poulter, do you have worms or something? Oh, right, just your stupid aliases again.
Teddy: Ha ha patty, Ha ha!
Ocean Elf: Knock off the ha ha's…
Poulter: do u know what happened to patty I dragged her in my van and now she’s in my dungeon
Ocean Elf: Do you know what's going to happen to you for provoking my wrath? Your dungeon and your van will be destroyed, and you will not escape me. I will be the last thing you will ever see, Poulter! *Furious scowl*
Teddy Poulter: Ha ha! You don't want to be like Patty, do you?
Ocean Elf: You don't want to get in my way, do you? *Withering glare*
Teddy Poulter: Case 2: George M. Simon Hates hated chain mail e-mails, but he didn't want to wanna die
Mr. Poulter: get cuddled in the
Teddy Poulter: that night.
Ocean Elf: Other than trolls and utterly messed up fangirls, I can't think of anyone who would want to cuddle with you, Teddy poulter.
Teddy Poulter: He sent put post it in to 4 people pictures threads.
Ocean Elf: So he's one of these people who claims to hate stupidity and yet he still chooses to be stupid.
Teddy Poulter: Not good enough] George.
Ocean Elf: No, not good enough. He shouldn't have sent it anywhere.
Teddy Poulter: Now, Georg is in
Teddy: a coma,
Mr. Poulter: my dungeon,
Teddy Poulter: we don't know if he'll ever
Teddy: wake up.
Mr. Poulter: get out
Ocean Elf: If there really is a George M. Simon in a coma somewhere, your stupid chain letter didn't put him there... And your silly "Not good enough" and "Ha ha" won't work on him.
George and Patty will both get out, and you'll be sor-ree!
Teddy Poulter: Ha ha George, Ha ha!
Ocean Elf: *Scowl* I'm really getting fed up to here with your stupid "ha ha"s! Cut it out or else! *Shakes fists*
Teddy Poulter: Now, do you want to be like George?
Ocean Elf: If I did, I would be stupidly sending chain letters. So no, I don't want to be like George.
Teddy Poulter: Case 3: Valarie Tyler She got this chain e-mail letter. Just Another chain letter or so she thought.
Ocean Elf: She would be correct…
Teddy Poulter: Only had 7 people pictures to send post to put this in 7 threads.
Ocean Elf: Seven too many.
Teddy Poulter: Well, That night when she was having a shower she saw a bloody Mary figure in the mirror.
Ocean Elf: Oh, Teddy, Teddy, Teddy, - do you really want to bring up Bloody Mary with me? Want to know what happened to her to scar her for dealife? Well, Read for yourself if you dare, because you will share her fate. I don't guarantee you'll like my taste in music, either.
Teddy Poulter: It was the BIGGEST fright of her life. Valarie is scarred for life.
Ocean Elf: Scarred for life from looking at a mirror which is for some reason put up in her shower, and she thinks she looks like Bloody Mary? Maybe Valarie should pick a different color shampoo or shower gel than red.
Teddy Poulter: Case 4:
Ocean Elf: Oh, for the love! Shut up already! *impatient, annoyed sigh*
Teddy: Derek Minse This is the final case I'll tell you about.
Ocean Elf: Thank goodness. You have been jawing on far too long with these ridiculous stories already.
Teddy Poulter: Well, Derek was a smart person. He sent post it to 12 people pictures.
Ocean Elf: Wrong, Teddy, very wrong. A smart person wouldn't send it to anyone, let alone twelve people. Only a foolish or obnoxious person like Derek Minse would.
Teddy Poulter: Later that day, he found a $100.00 bill on the ground.
Ocean Elf: Right, and how many snails have you taught to skate lately?
Teddy Poulter: He was premoted promoted to head officer manager at his job
Ocean Elf: Foolish Teddy Poulter, you really think anyone should take you seriously? People don't get promoted by passing on chain letters, unless you're talking about going from Assistant Vicemoron to Senior Executive Lout at the Idiot Club.
Teddy Poulter: and his girlfriend said yes to his purposal.
Ocean Elf: Just exactly what is a "purposal" ? Do you mean to say that this chump actually gave his girlfriend a purpose? The word is "proposal" you lackwit...
Teddy Poulter: agreed to marry him.
Ocean Elf: I can't imagine what girl in her right mind would want a spam head for a boyfriend.
Teddy Poulter: Now, he and his wife Katie and him are living happily ever after.
Ocean Elf: Happily ever afters only happen in fairy-tales, Teddy. Guess what? That's exactly what you - no, I won't slag the fairy-tale genre by categorizing your stupid chain letter as worthy of even being called that. If there really is a happy couple in the world named Derek and Katie Minse, and whatever their fortune might be, it is not because of your absurd chain letter.
Teddy Poulter: The They have 2 beautiful children.
Ocean Elf: Names of children? Genders? Why stop there, Teddy? Can't you think of any more to add to this totally wonderful story? *dripping with sarcasm*
Teddy Poulter: Send Post this to at least 12 people pictures or you'll face the consequences.
Ocean Elf: It is you who are about to face consequences, pal...
Teddy Poulter: 0 people pictures-
Ocean Elf: I'll stay smart and you'll be buttburned that somebody didn't fall for your stupid hoax.
Teddy Poulter: You will die tonight
Ocean Elf: I have seen your dumb chain letter cross my monitor many times and you have not managed to kill me. And no, I haven't passed it on to anyone. So, take that, you fool.
Teddy Poulter: 1-6 people pictures- you will be injured
Ocean Elf: It isn't me who'll get injured when it comes to you and your chain letter...
Teddy Poulter: 7-11 people pictures- you will get the biggest fright of your life
Ocean Elf: Hello, Teddy, you are about to be confronted with the biggest fright of your dealife...
Teddy Poulter: 12 and over- you are safe and will have good fortune!
Ocean Elf: Whatever safety and good fortune I plan to have will be up to me, the people in my life, and God, not you and your stupid chain letter. So stop lying.
Teddy Poulter: Do What
Teddy: Teddy
Mr. Poulter: Mr. Poulter
Teddy Poulter: Says!!!!
Ocean Elf: Do me a big favour and shut it! I'm not yours to command.
Teddy Poulter: Hurry, you must send post this to 12 people pictures before midnight tonight.
Ocean Elf: Nope...Not happening...
Actually Teddy, you deserve to get inundated with your own bullcrap spam, but I wouldn't join that effort, since I flatly refuse even to send chain letters back to hoaxers. So even if I knew who you, the idiot behind this hoax, was, anything you might get from me would be written in my own burning words.
Teddy Poulter: Sorry!!
Ocean Elf: No, Teddy, you are not sorry, so stop lying! Sorry is the very last thing you would probably ever be for starting a hoax, you coward!
Teddy Poulter: I had to!
Ocean Elf: *Scowl* don't give me that dumbarse excuse, Teddy! You could be bored out of your skull, or lying in a hospital bed longing for some company, nothing, - NOTHING will excuse you starting this stupid hoax and frightening young kids with it!
*Wraps Teddy's knuckles with a cyber ruler*
Now, Teddy Poulter, you will join your pal Bloody Mary. Happy nightmares.